What happened to all the sharp edges?

When I was 10 years old, summers were the best. I was given pocket knives and axes, and I’d wander through the 10 acres of mountain-side we owned – over steep cliffs and through streams. I would ride my bike for 30 miles over the course of a day, getting lost and found. I would walk a few miles down by the river with a fishing pole and a sandwich, by myself.  I would tear through 5 miles of woods on a muddy rocky trail to get to little league practice. Nowadays everything is plastic, approved by this committee or that group, and boring as hell. Here’s some  stupid inventions that make parenting for the lazy even easier, encourages germ phobias, allows us to walk our kids like we walk our dogs and more!

5 Stupid Inventions For Overprotective Parents

These are in no particular order. They’re all just as stupid.

Leashes & Harnesses For Toddlers

How scary is it that it’s out of stock! – There’s just something wrong about this. My wife would disagree, but she can blog about it herself. Here’s a review from a woman named Karen from Maimi. She says – and I quote…

“The harness portion of this product is well made and easy to use. The strap however doesn’t work as well as the dog leash that I prefer to use with it. The clips do not attach or detach very easily.”

3-in-1 SuperYard By KidSafe

Doesn’t the boy look like a sheep? Is there something wrong with playing with your child. I’m sure we can all keep our kids out of the fire. Hmm?

The Gummi Grip Shopping Cart Handle

I would opt for a teething biscuit or a pacifier. Do parents actually bring these things with them when they shop?

Temporary Nut Allergy ID Tattoos

If your kid has nuts and your nuts, you’ll go nuts for this nutty no-nut tattoo. I think I would have my ass beat at school for wearing this.

My Old Favorite – The Bicycle Helmet

There’s nothing like looking like a penis while you ride your bike. Why anyone would wear one, especially an adult, is beyond me. Of course the same people also wear spandex that’s brighter than the sun. Whenever my mother would make me wear one, I would drive down the road, hide it, and keep going. I’d throw it on when I got back, and she never know. Something tells me she will now.

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Tags: baby, inventions, leash, overprotective, parents